My Girl Crush: Kendra Allen
My Girl Wellness is all about bringing women together–through the good, the bad and the ugly things we go through as women. Heartbreak definitely falls into those latter buckets and is something almost all of us have (unfortunately) experienced. That said, we couldn’t be more excited to feature Kendra Allen a.k.a. your Break Up Bestie as our My Girl Crush this month.
My Girl: Going through a breakup can test every last bit of your mental wellbeing. What we love about your approach to healing heartbreak is that you help women see their breakup as a blessing, offering tools and resources for women to take something as challenging as a breakup and turn it into a moment of self-growth and improvement. Can you tell us more about that approach to the healing process?
Kendra: When you’re going through something as tough as a breakup even though it’s painful it can be so motivating. It can be the thing that gets you into therapy, has you sign up for a class, start a business, etc. When you’re heartbroken you want to try anything to get the pain to go away so if you can take advantage of how expanding this time can be it can be the thing that allows you to get to know yourself in a new way, try new things, heal parts of yourself you never have before and so much more.
My Girl: Something you talk a lot about is the “no contact rule”. Can you tell us a bit more about that?
Kendra: The No Contact Rule is something I suggest to everyone who is able to practice it after a breakup, it makes the healing process go by much faster. When going through heartbreak the goal is to learn how to live your life happily without your ex, so by cutting contact with them it allows you to learn how to do that more effectively. The No Contact Rule also pushes you to lean on friends more, meet new friends, or reconnect with old ones which is another important component of healing.
My Girl: With the holidays right around the corner, we are officially entering into “cuffing season”. What advice would you give women going through a breakup right now, knowing the holidays make it all the more difficult to heal?
Kendra: Plan ahead! It is harder to go through a breakup during the holidays so it’s important to fill your time with things that will make you feel loved and happy. Get your girlfriends together for a “Friendsgiving”, book a weekend trip with a friend, there are so many holiday things you can still do without a partner.
My Girl: What’s a piece of “breakup” advice that really anyone and everyone could take note of, despite your relationship status?
Kendra: This too shall pass is my absolute favorite saying and has helped me through so many things in my life. Whether it was going through heartbreak, struggling with a new business, or becoming a new mom this year. Remembering that everything passes is such a powerful perspective to have.
My Girl: Okay, now a little bit about Kendra! What lights you up inside?
Kendra: I had a baby boy last November who has completely lit up my life. But other than that I love learning about people, which is why hosting a podcast has been so fun for me getting to learn about other people and what lights them up. I love hiking, getting outdoors, seeing friends, and listening to podcasts. I’m also going to be celebrating 10 years of sobriety in January which has been a huge part of my life for almost a decade now.
My Girl: What’s a quote you live by each and every day?
Kendra: Nothing happens by mistake is one of my favorite quotes and reminds me that everything is happening for me instead of to me. It also reminds me to look back on times when I thought things weren’t going my way and remember stuff always works out better than I could have planned.
My Girl: Name a few women in the self-growth and improvement space that add value to your life (a.k.a. who should we be following)?
Kendra: I love following other women in the relationship and self development space to learn from. My favorites are @drmorgancutlip @jacqgould and @jules.webber.
My Girl: A big congratulations is in order! Your new book “The Breakup Workbook” is now available for purchase. How can the My Girl community get their hands on it and what can they expect from the book?
Kendra: Thank you!! It’s been so exciting being able to put this workbook together. It’s available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and will ship out immediately. This book is really my entire breakup healing process all together in one book. It has almost 100 different writing exercises to help with healing, self discovery, lesson learning and so much more.